Sunday, February 14, 2010
February 14, 2010
Valentines day may just be another one of those Hallmark holidays people feel compelled to celebrate...but I like it! I like the idea there is at least one day set aside to concentrate on the people you love. With everyone rushing hither and yon, it is important to think about love once in awhile. Sure, it is probably something we need to focus on everyday, but would people do it?Probably not.
I am reminded that there will always be people who will question everything. And questioning things is great, although I am tired of constant skeptics. You know the people.... they always say: well...I don't know about THAT! to every new idea! Naysayers are the ones that make me tired. I am not looking for "yes" men/women...but how about considering a new idea?
So...here is a new idea. How about people keeping their opinions to themselves, unless they have something productive to add? Constantly finding the problem with something gets to be OLD. And finding fault with what people think all the time makes people run.
Today I am ready to love everyone...just for today....I am shooting off love arrows! I'll decide tomorrow if I will continue! LOL
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
"Tea Party" Politics
Ok, so I wonder where everyone was in the Bush years when he drove the economy into the ground and started two wars? Now these WASPS want to "Take back " America. People who refuse to embrace change will always live in mediocrity. If you scan the audience at these Tea party events you see more White people than anything else. They are middle aged, usually evangelicals and not well educated. Polling them you find they do not want immigration, and are against any kind of government spending, yet they all happily pick up their IRS rebate checks with stimulus monies included. Should't they refuse the money so they can live true to their principals?
It is sad for me to see everyone blaming Barack Obama for all the ills of America. He is not responsible for them, he inherited them. He is doing all he can to try to reverse them. I think this is more about inner prejudice than it is about anything else. There is a propensity for people to say one thing and think another. I believe that the peoplewho want to take back our country would come from the same ancestors who sent the Native Americans on the Trail of Tears, and advocated for slavery. There is an inner belief that because they are: white, Christian etc. that they are better than everyone else. This MUST stop!
I find it hard to believe that anyone would advocate for Sarah Palin. Her "book" tour was a joke. Her "folksy" way of talking and acting is what attracts most of these people to her. They fear intelligent people and think someone who is "just like them" would be a great leader. Give me a break. Even McCains people reported that she is a fool, and that they had to spend time cleaning up after her ridiculous speeches.
While I think everyone needs to stand up for what they believe in, and are always entitled to their opinions, it would be nice for others to really really consider their position carefully. To follow someone who clearly is not intelligent enough to put her words together in a speech...(remember Bush?...good example) is a travesty to America. We already had to "dumb down" questions for "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" because Americans were clueless about things.
Listen and learn, before it is too late. Change is constant. Going back to "founding fathers" would having them rolling in their graves. They were Enlightened men, so much so they would not be given to stalling change. I donot think they felt the documents of the country were engraved on tablets, like the Ten commandments were.
Sarah Palin et al remind me of McCarthy. Pointing a finger, but having four fingers pointing back at them.
It is sad for me to see everyone blaming Barack Obama for all the ills of America. He is not responsible for them, he inherited them. He is doing all he can to try to reverse them. I think this is more about inner prejudice than it is about anything else. There is a propensity for people to say one thing and think another. I believe that the peoplewho want to take back our country would come from the same ancestors who sent the Native Americans on the Trail of Tears, and advocated for slavery. There is an inner belief that because they are: white, Christian etc. that they are better than everyone else. This MUST stop!
I find it hard to believe that anyone would advocate for Sarah Palin. Her "book" tour was a joke. Her "folksy" way of talking and acting is what attracts most of these people to her. They fear intelligent people and think someone who is "just like them" would be a great leader. Give me a break. Even McCains people reported that she is a fool, and that they had to spend time cleaning up after her ridiculous speeches.
While I think everyone needs to stand up for what they believe in, and are always entitled to their opinions, it would be nice for others to really really consider their position carefully. To follow someone who clearly is not intelligent enough to put her words together in a speech...(remember Bush?...good example) is a travesty to America. We already had to "dumb down" questions for "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" because Americans were clueless about things.
Listen and learn, before it is too late. Change is constant. Going back to "founding fathers" would having them rolling in their graves. They were Enlightened men, so much so they would not be given to stalling change. I donot think they felt the documents of the country were engraved on tablets, like the Ten commandments were.
Sarah Palin et al remind me of McCarthy. Pointing a finger, but having four fingers pointing back at them.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wishing I was There.
My son Alexander is making his debut in a speaking part in his first community theater play this week. I am so excited for him. As he grew, he was one of the funniest people I ever met. His wit and sense of humor is much like others in my family, but his is more special. He is my son!
Alex had a hard time finding his sweet spot and decided to study International Affairs in College. After graduating, he spent a full six months going around the world, and then traversing Europe. By this time, the program he was on had collapsed due to lack of funding and he was betwixt and between his options. He signed onto a gig with Americorp making enough money to "get by" and eventually will be able to pay down his student loans with some of the stipend.
He decided last summer to join an Improv group, and he loved it. And then this led him to seeking roles in theater and getting a nonspeaking part in Rosencrantz and Guilderstern are Dead last fall. He was hooked.
I wish I could see his performance, but due to him living in Boston, and myself in Seattle, I cannot attend this week. My heart is with him though, as I admonish him to "break a leg" and enjoy the experience. He keeps revealing new sides to himself every single day.
Alex had a hard time finding his sweet spot and decided to study International Affairs in College. After graduating, he spent a full six months going around the world, and then traversing Europe. By this time, the program he was on had collapsed due to lack of funding and he was betwixt and between his options. He signed onto a gig with Americorp making enough money to "get by" and eventually will be able to pay down his student loans with some of the stipend.
He decided last summer to join an Improv group, and he loved it. And then this led him to seeking roles in theater and getting a nonspeaking part in Rosencrantz and Guilderstern are Dead last fall. He was hooked.
I wish I could see his performance, but due to him living in Boston, and myself in Seattle, I cannot attend this week. My heart is with him though, as I admonish him to "break a leg" and enjoy the experience. He keeps revealing new sides to himself every single day.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Memories and Aging
Memories and Age.
There is something delicious about being in your fifties. When you are younger, you are not taken as seriously, you hold back your comments, you stifle yourself. Or at least that was my observation. And then the day may come when you do not really care what anyone thinks about you, and you decide to live a truly authentic life; whatever that might mean for you.
Looking back upon the years of my life is akin to standing at the top of a mountain and becoming aware of the winding path below. It looks well worn and seems difficult to belive that you alone climbed to reach its peak. The mud and the rocks lying below from share space with the flowers and the foliage and the view from atop offers the eye grand vistas.
Susan Sontag writes of the past that it is “... a pleasure to share one's memories. Everything remembered is dear, endearing, touching, precious. At least the past is safe—though we didn't know it at the time. We know it now. Because it's in the past; because we have survived.” Her testimony to passing through our life experiences have made us who we are, the sum total of our identities. And as we age these memories provide us with the impetus for reflection upon our own lives.
Living an authentic life need not be subject to intense scrutiny or interpretation. To begin to ask ourselves to ruminate on that which we find sacred or holy and to align our purpose with a life that inspires our own passionate longing can be a gift to our souls or life altering at best. We are not all seeking the same encounters in life, but that which we are seeking is also reminding us to define how we wish to live, and to be remembered in this life. To live with meaning and focus on what one deems is important to make that meaning becomes more urgent for some of us as we age. Half time is nearing its end and we are heading toward the end zone. But the end zone brings triumph if we have our eyes firmly on the prize.
My appreciation for youth and the ability to appreciate those around me that are still working through their mid-life battles has led me to acknowledge one thing I never received in my own youth: understanding. Ones twenties, thirties and forties are turbulent times for a person. Rarely do people acknowledge the difficulties we face when raising children, building a career and trying to help our parents as they age. There is a feeling one must have it all, do it all and be it all. Youth fades quickly and if we are lucky at all, we are left, with wisdom. We are lucky if we have amassed any kind of insight at all because if we are not so lucky we wallow in fear and regret.
To live a full life, there must be dreams we create and challenges we face. To turn our back on our growth as long as we are breathing, its to stifle our spirit and imbue us with hopelessness. To claim our lives through living with passion and purpose offers us at any age, the ability to remain whole and connected to the source. To create meaning as we age perhaps we need to remember to reinvent ourselves anew.
Susan Sontag would tell us not to interpret our life stories, but to allow them to just “be”. She was a wise woman .
There is something delicious about being in your fifties. When you are younger, you are not taken as seriously, you hold back your comments, you stifle yourself. Or at least that was my observation. And then the day may come when you do not really care what anyone thinks about you, and you decide to live a truly authentic life; whatever that might mean for you.
Looking back upon the years of my life is akin to standing at the top of a mountain and becoming aware of the winding path below. It looks well worn and seems difficult to belive that you alone climbed to reach its peak. The mud and the rocks lying below from share space with the flowers and the foliage and the view from atop offers the eye grand vistas.
Susan Sontag writes of the past that it is “... a pleasure to share one's memories. Everything remembered is dear, endearing, touching, precious. At least the past is safe—though we didn't know it at the time. We know it now. Because it's in the past; because we have survived.” Her testimony to passing through our life experiences have made us who we are, the sum total of our identities. And as we age these memories provide us with the impetus for reflection upon our own lives.
Living an authentic life need not be subject to intense scrutiny or interpretation. To begin to ask ourselves to ruminate on that which we find sacred or holy and to align our purpose with a life that inspires our own passionate longing can be a gift to our souls or life altering at best. We are not all seeking the same encounters in life, but that which we are seeking is also reminding us to define how we wish to live, and to be remembered in this life. To live with meaning and focus on what one deems is important to make that meaning becomes more urgent for some of us as we age. Half time is nearing its end and we are heading toward the end zone. But the end zone brings triumph if we have our eyes firmly on the prize.
My appreciation for youth and the ability to appreciate those around me that are still working through their mid-life battles has led me to acknowledge one thing I never received in my own youth: understanding. Ones twenties, thirties and forties are turbulent times for a person. Rarely do people acknowledge the difficulties we face when raising children, building a career and trying to help our parents as they age. There is a feeling one must have it all, do it all and be it all. Youth fades quickly and if we are lucky at all, we are left, with wisdom. We are lucky if we have amassed any kind of insight at all because if we are not so lucky we wallow in fear and regret.
To live a full life, there must be dreams we create and challenges we face. To turn our back on our growth as long as we are breathing, its to stifle our spirit and imbue us with hopelessness. To claim our lives through living with passion and purpose offers us at any age, the ability to remain whole and connected to the source. To create meaning as we age perhaps we need to remember to reinvent ourselves anew.
Susan Sontag would tell us not to interpret our life stories, but to allow them to just “be”. She was a wise woman .
Chloe
If you live long enough and you pay attention, there are many experiences that can be painted with words.
The simple lives of animals are begging to be watched, and so are the natures other elements, the trees, the birds and the flowers. Poets have written villanelles, musicians have played violins that have captured the very essence of the natural world.
Chloe came to me after I had watched my beloved Duchess drift off to eternal sleep in the vet’s office. My son found the postcard on the crowded cork board outside the examining room. We had lost our corgi, and this was a sheltie. I thought back to my childhood days and my dog Lady, who was less than stellar in the behavior department!
Our baby captured our hearts when the family went to the breeder’s home. The yard was awash in chickens, goats and many other loving critters, and there were shelties running about the driveway. The day we went back to pick her up to take home, she nestled in my arms and slept in the little foam padded dog bed aside me in the bedroom.
My sheltie endured many years of extensive travel. We lived in a motor home for3 years and she never got used to the noise of the rig. One time a truck passing us on the left blew a tire and she was so afraid of the noise, she ran under my feet, while I was driving! It took her a long time to recover from that fright!
Nothing however was more unsettling than my Chloe’s recurring cough and diagnosis of Lyme disease. The disease affected her in such a way as she developed Congestive heart issues. There was something truly sad about listening to her cough, and know she had trouble breathing. She lie some days for eight straight hours, and one day we took her to the vet and they wanted to keep her for treatment. She was not well, and needed to be hospitalized.
I lie in the bed sobbing, thinking of the unfair way Chloe would be robbed of her new big yard and sweet summer grass to lie on, fresh and clear breezes to sniff. I wanted her to be able to enjoy the summer, without stress, no worry, and at my side.
The vet gave her some meds, which eventually would assist her to stablize, and breathe
easier. That night however, she came back home, went outside with my husband and lie in the cool dew in the grass. She was home. She lie as if reflecting, a cool breeze blowing through her soft fur, her nose pointed to the sky to capture the breeze
I had read her right. All she wanted was to enjoy the outdoors. The smells, the sounds, the grass underneath her soft belly. She worked hard to get to that point in life, the one we all hope for. To stop and smell the roses, and know in our hearts we are truly home.
The simple lives of animals are begging to be watched, and so are the natures other elements, the trees, the birds and the flowers. Poets have written villanelles, musicians have played violins that have captured the very essence of the natural world.
Chloe came to me after I had watched my beloved Duchess drift off to eternal sleep in the vet’s office. My son found the postcard on the crowded cork board outside the examining room. We had lost our corgi, and this was a sheltie. I thought back to my childhood days and my dog Lady, who was less than stellar in the behavior department!
Our baby captured our hearts when the family went to the breeder’s home. The yard was awash in chickens, goats and many other loving critters, and there were shelties running about the driveway. The day we went back to pick her up to take home, she nestled in my arms and slept in the little foam padded dog bed aside me in the bedroom.
My sheltie endured many years of extensive travel. We lived in a motor home for3 years and she never got used to the noise of the rig. One time a truck passing us on the left blew a tire and she was so afraid of the noise, she ran under my feet, while I was driving! It took her a long time to recover from that fright!
Nothing however was more unsettling than my Chloe’s recurring cough and diagnosis of Lyme disease. The disease affected her in such a way as she developed Congestive heart issues. There was something truly sad about listening to her cough, and know she had trouble breathing. She lie some days for eight straight hours, and one day we took her to the vet and they wanted to keep her for treatment. She was not well, and needed to be hospitalized.
I lie in the bed sobbing, thinking of the unfair way Chloe would be robbed of her new big yard and sweet summer grass to lie on, fresh and clear breezes to sniff. I wanted her to be able to enjoy the summer, without stress, no worry, and at my side.
The vet gave her some meds, which eventually would assist her to stablize, and breathe
easier. That night however, she came back home, went outside with my husband and lie in the cool dew in the grass. She was home. She lie as if reflecting, a cool breeze blowing through her soft fur, her nose pointed to the sky to capture the breeze
I had read her right. All she wanted was to enjoy the outdoors. The smells, the sounds, the grass underneath her soft belly. She worked hard to get to that point in life, the one we all hope for. To stop and smell the roses, and know in our hearts we are truly home.
A Star in the West
A Star in the West.
By: Aley Martin
“He who does not travel does not know the value of men.” – Moorish proverb
I have spent a great deal of my life traveling around the United States. From the time I was ten years old my excursions indoctrinated me in a love of adventure. Traversing the vast American canvas has afforded me the opportunity to learn about life in each corner of our country, and many spaces in between. I have no trepidation when it comes to travel, and have done so via car, recreational vehicle and moving truck many times. Some of my friends cannot believe I am willing to undertake such adventure alone or with my son, and think driving across the country takes some indomitable act of courage. My own mother would have been one of those nay-sayers more than likely, as she never even had a drivers license.
I cannot see where courage would explain my actions. In 1965, when I was ten years old, my family moved from the east to the west coast of this great land. Strangers would shake their heads at our excursion as moving that far was not a 'normal' thing to do during those years. In reflection, going through the deep south in the midst of the Civil Rights movement might have been a dangerous thing. But I garnered my strength from watching the best of them during that time: my dear old dad. Dad inspired me to believe the country was here for us to relish and not to miss during our life on the planet.
It is with all my rich and valuable experiences in mind that I undertook a journey across the United States again, in the winter of 2007 and drove from Massachusetts to Seattle, Washington twice in one months time. My husband and I set out to make the journey in separate vehicles the first time, stopping only to eat, sleep and take an occasional shower at a truck stop. The second time however, my son and I traveled in my car to my new home after we completed the fall semester at our respective colleges.
To know me is to know how I live my life. I embrace change and new and fresh experiences. So when my husband Keith and I were married in November of 2000 we embraced the gypsy traveler in our soul and have traveled and lived in six states, each time seeking the right place to feel at home and settle in. On each trek we hoped would bring us one step closer to his desire to open a chiropractic office, and eventually each attempt was foiled for one reason or another. The move to Seattle, however, was the fulfillment of a dream for us both, as we had always wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest even though neither of us had been there before. The time frame to move was a difficult one, as mother nature during the winter is not overly cooperative when traversing the northern most part of the United States. We had no choice of the time we had to leave however and both decided to make the best of what might be a difficult sojourn.
When you travel by car across the roads during the holiday seasons there are usually dire warnings about drunk drivers, car pileups, road accidents and highway route closures due to resulting weather changes. The first part of our trip, from Massachusetts to Iowa, was relatively uneventful, but once we crossed the Missouri River the ice and freezing rain would conspire to stop us in our tracks. The wind howled fiercely as we pulled into a motel on the side of the highway on the western side of the River and after unloading our belongings, Alex and I stretched our weary bones and settled down for a refreshing rest.
As the morning arrived and beckoned us onward, I listened to the weather channel in our hotel room and then my son Alex and I proceeded to find our car. The ice and freezing rain from the nights fierce precipitation left us scrambling to scrape off thick bricks of ice from the windows and doors. Sealed like a casket, these doors made it impossible for us to enter at first and our gloves and warm hats were lying in the back seat awaiting our procurement. I was not able to start the car engine until I could get the ice from the door off so I could turn on the heater for 20 minutes or more. It was already December 24th, and we still had a long way to travel. I began to wonder where we would end up on Christmas Eve.
Once we got our lightweight vehicle onto the highway I was not able to accelerate my car more than 20 MPH at the risk of an icy spin_out and cars were already off in ditches along the side of the roadway. Gripping the wheel ,I felt the tension in my back start contracting my muscles and soon it felt as though knives were piercing me on either side of my spine. The wind would pick up and toss the little car from side to side and as truckers with chains went past the car shards of ice would fly onto the windshield making crackling sounds on the hood. To say it was a harrowing navigation would be an understatement. Soon, the muscles in my neck screamed from the tension, and sitting so long erect in a position pitched forward made my back contorted and stiff. Mile by mile I drove, each one as slick and treacherous as the next mile until we reached a point in the day when the sun came out and the roads were covered by a sanding truck. By this time I was completely exhausted, but my son indicated if he drove, he would not be able to drive that slow, so I opted for safety and continued to drive as we reached Wyoming.
As we began driving along I_80 through Wyoming and heading uphill through the Rocky Mountains things began looking pretty dry and we finally started making good time on this leg of our journey. I turned on the radio, and my son and I began listening to some Christmas songs, singing along to a few until the stations would eventually be too distant to pick up a signal without static. By this time we were both grateful for arriving in Wyoming after our ordeal in the ice storm in Iowa and mistakenly began to believe we had the worst of the bad weather behind us. The early evening started blissfully clear and the stars reflected onto the highway like a set of sparkling Christmas lights in the sky. I made the decision we would continue onto Salt Lake City which was about 260 miles away and stop there for the night. If we made it that far, we would most certainly make it to Seattle by Christmas Day and enjoy the company of my husband and our friend Ricky who was visiting with him from Mississippi.
About this time, small dots of white started to appear in front of my headlights, and then within ten minutes these darting dots of white not only began to grow they also accelerated in speed corrupting my distance vision and limiting my ability to see the yellow painted highway lines ahead of me on the road. I tried to find a radio station once again to listen to a weather report, but we were too deeply embedded into mountainous terrain and there were no signals again on the radio. As the snow continued at a more rapid pace, the drifts began to accumulate very quickly and blow across the highway. There were no cars to be seen on either side of the roadway, and no tracks on the highway to pave the way or follow. I had no snow tires on my vehicle either making it abundantly clear we needed to find lodging immediately.
Looking up from the roadway a travel sign along the highway could be seen indicating lodging in the next town at a nearby exit. When the exit appeared, I slid ungraciously sideways and nearly missed the turn. The roads were filling with snow so rapidly that my car was not likely to be able to handle the accumulation for much longer. Coming to the end of the ramp the sign indicated to make a turn left turn and the motel was seven miles ahead. Seven miles? How would we make it another seven miles in this white out on a dark roadway we had no experience traversing? The car slid all over the road, and although I honed my skills early by learning to drive in the snows of New England, it had not prepared me to end up stuck on the side of the road in some po_dunk Wyoming town on Christmas Eve!
The windshield wipers were earning their keep, whisk, whisk, whisk, they screamed, as they tried to keep up with the downy white blanket of snow wanting to act like more like a spread on the window. I turned it up to the highest wiping cycle it would allow and it whined: “due_due_due_due_due_due". My nerves were jangled, back tense again reminding me of the tense ride on the icy roads of Iowa. Alex kept reminding me I was doing well and admonishing me to try and relax. On and on the road went, mile after mile we drove as the drive seemed more like thirty or more miles. No lights align the road and worse yet, no other cars, or signs or homes were to be seen along the road either. The lights on my Kia Rio were the only light shining on the roadway, and the wipers briskly whining noise was still the only sound echoing in our car.
Finally, we came to what appeared to be the crossroads of a very small town. On the first corner I spotted the motel advertised on the highway sign, but the motel was dark and there were no cars to be seen in the parking lot. This discovery did not bode well for my son and I. Alex got out of the car and went to the door of the motel office. It was Closed. A handmade sign was posted on the door indicating a telephone number to call for service. Alex pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number, immediately accessing an answering machine on the other end of the line. There is no one available. Looking at each other, we decided it must not be the motel that had been posted on the highway sign and we decided to drive down into the town, which was right down the street. Driving down the road we saw what appeared only to be about 5 blocks of “town” ahead. What shall we do now? It was bitter cold , wind blowing and the snow accumulating rapidly. We each only had one thin blanket and one pillow which were brought along mostly if we decided to stop during the day for a rest. It was beginning to dawn on the both of us that there was no place for us to stay.
Parking the car on the main street of Lyman, Wyoming, I began trying to figure out what we were going to do. The town was completely desolate, save a van parked in front of the post office. It was then that I spied a woman running from the parked van into the Lyman post office. I told Alex I was going to go inside the building and ask her if there were any more motels nearby for us to get a room. I entered the building just as the woman came back from her post office box after retrieving her mail. She is a petite woman, with long blonde hair about 30 years old and she glanced up at me smiling pleasantly as I approached her.
“Hello, I am sorry to bother you, but do you know if there are any motels in town?” I asked her.
She replied gently, “Yes, there is one back at the corner, I believe.”
I shook my head and responded to her quietly, “Yes, we saw that one, but it is closed and I
thought perhaps you may know of another one nearby.”
The woman shook her head in response and asked me with whom I was traveling.
“I am traveling with my son. We are heading to Seattle, and this blizzard just came upon us and
we feel it would be safer to stop for the night.”
The woman indicated that perhaps her husband knew of a place that she did not know of and we headed out the door and up to the parked van in front of the Post office. As we reached the van, she slid open the side door open revealing her four children from ages 1_9 sitting patiently waiting for her to return to the car. Her husband was behind the drivers wheel and she asked him if he knew of any other motels nearby.
“Afraid not,” he said. “The only one is the one on the corner and it looks closed.”
By this time I was really feeling anxious and worried about what we were going to do. I did not think leaving my car running all night was a good idea, but we would freeze to death if we did not have the heater running. The young woman, who indicated her name was Star, asked me if we would come to her house to wait out the blizzard and share a pizza they picked up along the way home from Utah. Because it was Christmas Eve, I felt horrible intruding on her family celebration and coming to her home and interrupting her family plans. Star insisted we come. Still, I hesitated.
“Oh, no...no, no!" I exclaimed.
“We are a nice family.” she said, trying to persuade me to come to the house.
“Of course you are!” I said. “I just did not want to intrude upon your Holiday.”
Star shook her head and told us to follow her. "The kids will love it! We have two couches in the living room and you can stay there if the storm does not let up." C’mon, follow us down the road.”
I went back to the car to tell Alex of this kind woman's invitation and he was as astonished as I was that this woman would invite us to come to her home when we were strangers to her. Later, I learned she invited us because we were mother and son, and although she did not know my son was 23 and not a child, she felt comfortable with her instincts and our situation was dire. We found out Star and her family had only recently moved to this little town in Wyoming from Salt Lake City. They had spent the days prior on a sojourn back to Utah to be with family and made their way back east to their home, having come through the storm driving from the west. She knew the weather was bad all the way back to Salt Lake and did not think it wise for us to continue.
“ Again, please stay the evening. These couches are not luxurious, but you can be warm and get some sleep,”she said.
We unloaded our pillows and blankets and made our way inside her home. The house was warm and pleasant, decorated for the holidays and her children were loving and respectful. We felt blessed by the presence of her family and the children's excited anticipation of Christmas and Santa Claus making his way to their home. Each moment shared in the company of this little family and their welcoming and kind_hearted warmth offered us a respite from the difficult moments as weary travelers.
Alex settled into his spot on the longer couch and appeared to be amazed by the unending kindness of this Wyoming family. He played a bit with the children and warmed up to them as I had never seen him do with anyone before. We found out a bit about our hostess, who had been a child of hippie parents who gave her the birth name that was so unusual. The twinkle in her eye reminded me of the stars I had seen only hours before in the sky before the blizzard clouded my view. Her husband Daniel was the local high school math teacher and tried to convince us to stay for breakfast the following morning, which we graciously turned down in order to make our way west.
As the family began to settle in for the night, Daniel excused himself to read a story to the children. His choice: O. Henry's classic tale: "The Gift of the Magi". His voice, coming from the children's room could be heard by Alex and I out in the living room, and we quietly listened to it, as though Daniel read it for our ears only. The story, of unselfish giving and love and kindness in spite of poverty, brought tears to my eyes. Never again will I ever think of this story without thinking of that Christmas Eve in Wyoming. I fell asleep that night knowing that there were people still remaining in this world who opened their hearts and homes to others. After so many years of heartache and disenchantment with others, my faith in humanity was restored.
We arose in the morning to a partly sunny Christmas morning and clearly plowed roads. Daniel escorted us back to the highway entrance and we resumed our journey westward. But before we left Star handed me a wrapped gift, one wrapped by her children and meant for her to open to take with me on our journey. I protested but Star insisted, not realizing she had already given us the most precious gift any stranger could give to another. Her trust.
The value of man lies not in great deeds or accomplishments. Complete strangers took us into their home and gave us refuge in a storm. This gift was more valuable than any material thing anyone would give another in today's cynical and skeptical world. Their love and kindness helped a traveler along the road of life, a gift more precious because it happened on a Christmas Eve, in a tiny town called Lyman, Wyoming. May God bless them always.
By: Aley Martin
“He who does not travel does not know the value of men.” – Moorish proverb
I have spent a great deal of my life traveling around the United States. From the time I was ten years old my excursions indoctrinated me in a love of adventure. Traversing the vast American canvas has afforded me the opportunity to learn about life in each corner of our country, and many spaces in between. I have no trepidation when it comes to travel, and have done so via car, recreational vehicle and moving truck many times. Some of my friends cannot believe I am willing to undertake such adventure alone or with my son, and think driving across the country takes some indomitable act of courage. My own mother would have been one of those nay-sayers more than likely, as she never even had a drivers license.
I cannot see where courage would explain my actions. In 1965, when I was ten years old, my family moved from the east to the west coast of this great land. Strangers would shake their heads at our excursion as moving that far was not a 'normal' thing to do during those years. In reflection, going through the deep south in the midst of the Civil Rights movement might have been a dangerous thing. But I garnered my strength from watching the best of them during that time: my dear old dad. Dad inspired me to believe the country was here for us to relish and not to miss during our life on the planet.
It is with all my rich and valuable experiences in mind that I undertook a journey across the United States again, in the winter of 2007 and drove from Massachusetts to Seattle, Washington twice in one months time. My husband and I set out to make the journey in separate vehicles the first time, stopping only to eat, sleep and take an occasional shower at a truck stop. The second time however, my son and I traveled in my car to my new home after we completed the fall semester at our respective colleges.
To know me is to know how I live my life. I embrace change and new and fresh experiences. So when my husband Keith and I were married in November of 2000 we embraced the gypsy traveler in our soul and have traveled and lived in six states, each time seeking the right place to feel at home and settle in. On each trek we hoped would bring us one step closer to his desire to open a chiropractic office, and eventually each attempt was foiled for one reason or another. The move to Seattle, however, was the fulfillment of a dream for us both, as we had always wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest even though neither of us had been there before. The time frame to move was a difficult one, as mother nature during the winter is not overly cooperative when traversing the northern most part of the United States. We had no choice of the time we had to leave however and both decided to make the best of what might be a difficult sojourn.
When you travel by car across the roads during the holiday seasons there are usually dire warnings about drunk drivers, car pileups, road accidents and highway route closures due to resulting weather changes. The first part of our trip, from Massachusetts to Iowa, was relatively uneventful, but once we crossed the Missouri River the ice and freezing rain would conspire to stop us in our tracks. The wind howled fiercely as we pulled into a motel on the side of the highway on the western side of the River and after unloading our belongings, Alex and I stretched our weary bones and settled down for a refreshing rest.
As the morning arrived and beckoned us onward, I listened to the weather channel in our hotel room and then my son Alex and I proceeded to find our car. The ice and freezing rain from the nights fierce precipitation left us scrambling to scrape off thick bricks of ice from the windows and doors. Sealed like a casket, these doors made it impossible for us to enter at first and our gloves and warm hats were lying in the back seat awaiting our procurement. I was not able to start the car engine until I could get the ice from the door off so I could turn on the heater for 20 minutes or more. It was already December 24th, and we still had a long way to travel. I began to wonder where we would end up on Christmas Eve.
Once we got our lightweight vehicle onto the highway I was not able to accelerate my car more than 20 MPH at the risk of an icy spin_out and cars were already off in ditches along the side of the roadway. Gripping the wheel ,I felt the tension in my back start contracting my muscles and soon it felt as though knives were piercing me on either side of my spine. The wind would pick up and toss the little car from side to side and as truckers with chains went past the car shards of ice would fly onto the windshield making crackling sounds on the hood. To say it was a harrowing navigation would be an understatement. Soon, the muscles in my neck screamed from the tension, and sitting so long erect in a position pitched forward made my back contorted and stiff. Mile by mile I drove, each one as slick and treacherous as the next mile until we reached a point in the day when the sun came out and the roads were covered by a sanding truck. By this time I was completely exhausted, but my son indicated if he drove, he would not be able to drive that slow, so I opted for safety and continued to drive as we reached Wyoming.
As we began driving along I_80 through Wyoming and heading uphill through the Rocky Mountains things began looking pretty dry and we finally started making good time on this leg of our journey. I turned on the radio, and my son and I began listening to some Christmas songs, singing along to a few until the stations would eventually be too distant to pick up a signal without static. By this time we were both grateful for arriving in Wyoming after our ordeal in the ice storm in Iowa and mistakenly began to believe we had the worst of the bad weather behind us. The early evening started blissfully clear and the stars reflected onto the highway like a set of sparkling Christmas lights in the sky. I made the decision we would continue onto Salt Lake City which was about 260 miles away and stop there for the night. If we made it that far, we would most certainly make it to Seattle by Christmas Day and enjoy the company of my husband and our friend Ricky who was visiting with him from Mississippi.
About this time, small dots of white started to appear in front of my headlights, and then within ten minutes these darting dots of white not only began to grow they also accelerated in speed corrupting my distance vision and limiting my ability to see the yellow painted highway lines ahead of me on the road. I tried to find a radio station once again to listen to a weather report, but we were too deeply embedded into mountainous terrain and there were no signals again on the radio. As the snow continued at a more rapid pace, the drifts began to accumulate very quickly and blow across the highway. There were no cars to be seen on either side of the roadway, and no tracks on the highway to pave the way or follow. I had no snow tires on my vehicle either making it abundantly clear we needed to find lodging immediately.
Looking up from the roadway a travel sign along the highway could be seen indicating lodging in the next town at a nearby exit. When the exit appeared, I slid ungraciously sideways and nearly missed the turn. The roads were filling with snow so rapidly that my car was not likely to be able to handle the accumulation for much longer. Coming to the end of the ramp the sign indicated to make a turn left turn and the motel was seven miles ahead. Seven miles? How would we make it another seven miles in this white out on a dark roadway we had no experience traversing? The car slid all over the road, and although I honed my skills early by learning to drive in the snows of New England, it had not prepared me to end up stuck on the side of the road in some po_dunk Wyoming town on Christmas Eve!
The windshield wipers were earning their keep, whisk, whisk, whisk, they screamed, as they tried to keep up with the downy white blanket of snow wanting to act like more like a spread on the window. I turned it up to the highest wiping cycle it would allow and it whined: “due_due_due_due_due_due". My nerves were jangled, back tense again reminding me of the tense ride on the icy roads of Iowa. Alex kept reminding me I was doing well and admonishing me to try and relax. On and on the road went, mile after mile we drove as the drive seemed more like thirty or more miles. No lights align the road and worse yet, no other cars, or signs or homes were to be seen along the road either. The lights on my Kia Rio were the only light shining on the roadway, and the wipers briskly whining noise was still the only sound echoing in our car.
Finally, we came to what appeared to be the crossroads of a very small town. On the first corner I spotted the motel advertised on the highway sign, but the motel was dark and there were no cars to be seen in the parking lot. This discovery did not bode well for my son and I. Alex got out of the car and went to the door of the motel office. It was Closed. A handmade sign was posted on the door indicating a telephone number to call for service. Alex pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number, immediately accessing an answering machine on the other end of the line. There is no one available. Looking at each other, we decided it must not be the motel that had been posted on the highway sign and we decided to drive down into the town, which was right down the street. Driving down the road we saw what appeared only to be about 5 blocks of “town” ahead. What shall we do now? It was bitter cold , wind blowing and the snow accumulating rapidly. We each only had one thin blanket and one pillow which were brought along mostly if we decided to stop during the day for a rest. It was beginning to dawn on the both of us that there was no place for us to stay.
Parking the car on the main street of Lyman, Wyoming, I began trying to figure out what we were going to do. The town was completely desolate, save a van parked in front of the post office. It was then that I spied a woman running from the parked van into the Lyman post office. I told Alex I was going to go inside the building and ask her if there were any more motels nearby for us to get a room. I entered the building just as the woman came back from her post office box after retrieving her mail. She is a petite woman, with long blonde hair about 30 years old and she glanced up at me smiling pleasantly as I approached her.
“Hello, I am sorry to bother you, but do you know if there are any motels in town?” I asked her.
She replied gently, “Yes, there is one back at the corner, I believe.”
I shook my head and responded to her quietly, “Yes, we saw that one, but it is closed and I
thought perhaps you may know of another one nearby.”
The woman shook her head in response and asked me with whom I was traveling.
“I am traveling with my son. We are heading to Seattle, and this blizzard just came upon us and
we feel it would be safer to stop for the night.”
The woman indicated that perhaps her husband knew of a place that she did not know of and we headed out the door and up to the parked van in front of the Post office. As we reached the van, she slid open the side door open revealing her four children from ages 1_9 sitting patiently waiting for her to return to the car. Her husband was behind the drivers wheel and she asked him if he knew of any other motels nearby.
“Afraid not,” he said. “The only one is the one on the corner and it looks closed.”
By this time I was really feeling anxious and worried about what we were going to do. I did not think leaving my car running all night was a good idea, but we would freeze to death if we did not have the heater running. The young woman, who indicated her name was Star, asked me if we would come to her house to wait out the blizzard and share a pizza they picked up along the way home from Utah. Because it was Christmas Eve, I felt horrible intruding on her family celebration and coming to her home and interrupting her family plans. Star insisted we come. Still, I hesitated.
“Oh, no...no, no!" I exclaimed.
“We are a nice family.” she said, trying to persuade me to come to the house.
“Of course you are!” I said. “I just did not want to intrude upon your Holiday.”
Star shook her head and told us to follow her. "The kids will love it! We have two couches in the living room and you can stay there if the storm does not let up." C’mon, follow us down the road.”
I went back to the car to tell Alex of this kind woman's invitation and he was as astonished as I was that this woman would invite us to come to her home when we were strangers to her. Later, I learned she invited us because we were mother and son, and although she did not know my son was 23 and not a child, she felt comfortable with her instincts and our situation was dire. We found out Star and her family had only recently moved to this little town in Wyoming from Salt Lake City. They had spent the days prior on a sojourn back to Utah to be with family and made their way back east to their home, having come through the storm driving from the west. She knew the weather was bad all the way back to Salt Lake and did not think it wise for us to continue.
“ Again, please stay the evening. These couches are not luxurious, but you can be warm and get some sleep,”she said.
We unloaded our pillows and blankets and made our way inside her home. The house was warm and pleasant, decorated for the holidays and her children were loving and respectful. We felt blessed by the presence of her family and the children's excited anticipation of Christmas and Santa Claus making his way to their home. Each moment shared in the company of this little family and their welcoming and kind_hearted warmth offered us a respite from the difficult moments as weary travelers.
Alex settled into his spot on the longer couch and appeared to be amazed by the unending kindness of this Wyoming family. He played a bit with the children and warmed up to them as I had never seen him do with anyone before. We found out a bit about our hostess, who had been a child of hippie parents who gave her the birth name that was so unusual. The twinkle in her eye reminded me of the stars I had seen only hours before in the sky before the blizzard clouded my view. Her husband Daniel was the local high school math teacher and tried to convince us to stay for breakfast the following morning, which we graciously turned down in order to make our way west.
As the family began to settle in for the night, Daniel excused himself to read a story to the children. His choice: O. Henry's classic tale: "The Gift of the Magi". His voice, coming from the children's room could be heard by Alex and I out in the living room, and we quietly listened to it, as though Daniel read it for our ears only. The story, of unselfish giving and love and kindness in spite of poverty, brought tears to my eyes. Never again will I ever think of this story without thinking of that Christmas Eve in Wyoming. I fell asleep that night knowing that there were people still remaining in this world who opened their hearts and homes to others. After so many years of heartache and disenchantment with others, my faith in humanity was restored.
We arose in the morning to a partly sunny Christmas morning and clearly plowed roads. Daniel escorted us back to the highway entrance and we resumed our journey westward. But before we left Star handed me a wrapped gift, one wrapped by her children and meant for her to open to take with me on our journey. I protested but Star insisted, not realizing she had already given us the most precious gift any stranger could give to another. Her trust.
The value of man lies not in great deeds or accomplishments. Complete strangers took us into their home and gave us refuge in a storm. This gift was more valuable than any material thing anyone would give another in today's cynical and skeptical world. Their love and kindness helped a traveler along the road of life, a gift more precious because it happened on a Christmas Eve, in a tiny town called Lyman, Wyoming. May God bless them always.
Not feeling Full...............
Sunday, February 07, 2010
I am an emotional eater, of this I am certain. In fact in the year following my mothers death, I gained 100 pounds. I simply turn to food. I have had my stomach stapled and still need food. I use food as a way of feeling nourished, a way of feeling full in my life. And so, since September, I have had to turn to my inner self and use all the willpower I can muster, and make good food choices. This weekend, I feel like I am spiraling out of control. My life has no passion, and so I feel as though I need food again, to fill me up.
I know there are many emotional eaters in the world.My own mother and daughter are two women who turned to food as gratification too. My mother, long dead is looking at me in my own mirror now. She and I are meeting at the place where she left off, and my marriage is just as passionless as hers used to be. Ah, such is the way of history repeating itself. My daughter was the me of 22 years ago, trying to take some control of her life, and having a difficult time feeling supported by anyone else. She has no man in her life, never really has, and so she feels bereft of any emotional support. Life is funny that way.
I already know I have these issues, but somehow they have been staved off for a few months. Today the gremlin came back to haunt me, and although I did not overindulge, I am down to 12 points in my point "bank", you know...the extra ones we get each week on Weight Watchers. I also work three jobs, go to school full time and have a new sassy little puppy. And I have a dog who is dying of cancer. There is much on my plate, but I have been through worse, and will probably be through worse again, some other day.
The real issue is I tend to borrow on borrowed time, borrowed points, borrowed monies, borrowed life. I am working on a third masters, and would like to get a PhD, but my student loans are so astronomical that I do not have any funds to borrow even if I did get accepted to a PhD program. It is not that I "need" the degree, it is that I enjoy the learning, like I enjoy chips and carbs and traveling. It is a part of me and my life feels useless without them. I have gotten over the carb cravings and am not stocking chips or junk food in my house anymore. I am not a drinker, or a drug addict or a smoker. I am just a fifty something woman who wants to understand why she never is full. There is nothing that fills me completely, no matter how hard I try to figure it all out. I am frustrated and tired. I lack something. I need something that will be the one thing that takes care of everything else. And I think I am afraid I will never find it. I think I am worried I will die without finding the magic still in me.
I know there are many emotional eaters in the world.My own mother and daughter are two women who turned to food as gratification too. My mother, long dead is looking at me in my own mirror now. She and I are meeting at the place where she left off, and my marriage is just as passionless as hers used to be. Ah, such is the way of history repeating itself. My daughter was the me of 22 years ago, trying to take some control of her life, and having a difficult time feeling supported by anyone else. She has no man in her life, never really has, and so she feels bereft of any emotional support. Life is funny that way.
I already know I have these issues, but somehow they have been staved off for a few months. Today the gremlin came back to haunt me, and although I did not overindulge, I am down to 12 points in my point "bank", you know...the extra ones we get each week on Weight Watchers. I also work three jobs, go to school full time and have a new sassy little puppy. And I have a dog who is dying of cancer. There is much on my plate, but I have been through worse, and will probably be through worse again, some other day.
The real issue is I tend to borrow on borrowed time, borrowed points, borrowed monies, borrowed life. I am working on a third masters, and would like to get a PhD, but my student loans are so astronomical that I do not have any funds to borrow even if I did get accepted to a PhD program. It is not that I "need" the degree, it is that I enjoy the learning, like I enjoy chips and carbs and traveling. It is a part of me and my life feels useless without them. I have gotten over the carb cravings and am not stocking chips or junk food in my house anymore. I am not a drinker, or a drug addict or a smoker. I am just a fifty something woman who wants to understand why she never is full. There is nothing that fills me completely, no matter how hard I try to figure it all out. I am frustrated and tired. I lack something. I need something that will be the one thing that takes care of everything else. And I think I am afraid I will never find it. I think I am worried I will die without finding the magic still in me.
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