What is an Inner Flaneur ?

The Flaneur is a French word for the stroller of the 19th century who often walked his pet turtle though the streets of Paris, with no agenda. The internet is a Flaneur spot where people metaphorically stroll and link from site to site along the roadways of the web.

As an inner flaneur, I stroll in my thoughts. I use my thoughts to pen my ideas, my worries, my life story and my travels though this lifetime. I welcome all Flaneurs to stroll by my site and stop awhile or simply move along at whatever pace they feel may comfort them in their journey.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A Blog written in 2007.........

Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.”
Ayn Rand, philosopher

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart."
Carl Jung

The idea of living authentically has been ruminating in my mind now for a few days. It is not the first time this idea has come into my consciousness. In fact, this idea has been revisited whenever there is a significant reassessment of my life energies.

Of late, there has been a shift in command where I teach. Every time there is a new leader, one has to wonder what that means as far as “perceived” job security. I say perceived as we all know every job is a temporary one. There are no guarantees in life. We can be replaced, downsized, demoted or phased out at any position. I do not look at this negatively, it can and has happened to many workers who have worked at a job for years! We can never be complacent in life or relationships. The only constant is change, this is not always bad.

Usually, it takes a major shakeup to move us to action. Many people remain mired in horrific situations because they live in fear. For me, it tells me it is time to move on. This new leader felt I had too much going on and could not “handle” teaching so many classes. Isn’t it intriguing how someone else’s perceptions can be so incorrect? The unnecessary judgment of others is one thing I find intolerable. The irony is the statement comes from someone more over-booked. Her issue, not mine.

I can see the mirrored reflection of someone who cannot handle her own life, and is foisting her inability to cope on me! I really am not angry though, despite my comments here. I was disappointed in the situation for a time, but then I realized it was a gift from spirit to shake me up and facilitate my decision. There is no remorse or concern. Now I am free to enjoy my last semester where I am, and move on to the next phase of my journey. Perhaps I would have remained here otherwise and would have missed out on a grand adventure!

That being said, I know it is time for a change and I need to start once again living authentically. I know in my heart I am being led out towards my next adventure, much like my hero Don Quixote! Living authentically, soulfully…doing what destiny intends me to do.

Expressing one’s true nature by living authentically is how I wish to live in the world. By honoring my spirit I allow my Light to shine and live my Truth. If I open myself to allowing the Divine Spirit to lead me and utilize the wisdom I have earned I can joyfully create and live my purpose. There is a sense of excitement in the preparation for such a task. I have felt it before and it is empowering. I know I can manifest my destiny and allow myself to be led to where I need to be for the next stage of my growth.

“Living authentically is not always easy. It can be hard work, but the rewards are worth the effort. It requires the courage to ask yourself the hard questions and be completely honest with yourself about what is truly important to you in life and how you can live your Highest Good. It's following your heart's wisdom, living your Truth, and being real in every sense. When you are living an authentic life, you are contributing your soulful nature and gifts to the world and, thus, creating a better, more authentic and soulful life experience for us all”.

Ten tips for living authentically
1. Know your purpose
2. Know your values
3. Know your needs
4. Know your passions
5. Live from the inside out
6. Honor your strengths
7. Take time to play
8. Be aware of your self talk
9. Surround yourself with inspiration
10. Serve others


I am a bibliophile. A lover of books. Good thing too, as I am a literature teacher. Or maybe I am a literature teacher because I love books. Such juxtaposition of words!

I also am a lover of words in general. ALL words, the sacred, and the profane. And I find profanity is something WE have deemed to be in poor taste, words do not decide to be a bad words one day!

I love the word shit. It simply is what it is. And it describes many things other words cannot do.
On Martha's blog Albert wrote all the words we use for defecation. Shit is one of them. But to be in "deep shit" really is the best explanation of someone in deep trouble. Also shoveling shit or pissing in the wind is a good explanation for things.

People really have a hard time with the "F" word. Do you know it is "fornication under consent of the king" or "for unlawful carnal knowledge" as well as 4 other acronyms? I can understand people hate others using it as an adjective, a verb, a noun and as a way of shocking others. Overuse of ANY word gets annoying!

Who decided what words are swears anyway? It seems like we infuse too much energy into condemning words and not enough into understanding them.

Now if I bitch about something it seems to be ok, but if I am called a bitch, we get insulted. Sp perhaps it is the energy of the words use that is problematic? What happened to our mother telling us "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me?"

Suck used to be an offensive word when I was younger, but now I hear how things suck all the time, especially by the younger people I teach. This instructor sucked. This weather sucks....

George Carlin had the 7 words you cannot say back in 1974 or so, that curled many peoples toes. His overuse of the F word has made many people feel uncomfortable, but not me. I think he is funny. But it is personal choice. The words he uses have no power over me. They are merely words, albeit society "dirty words"....

Love is a four letter word. What if someone decides one day it is profanity to say the word love? Who decides? Some people ARE uncomfortable with this L word. There are people who do not wish to ever utter it to another human being. It implies commitment, another dirty word to some.

Fear is also a four letter word. And we know people full of it, like others are full of shit. I would rather be full of shit than full of fear! How about you?

Here is an interesting spin on the F word by the Hindi mystic Osho: Warning: the F word is used here. But it explains a lot about the use of the world, done humorously!

Types of swearing

Steven Pinker's book The Stuff of Thought breaks profanity down into five categories:

* Dysphemistic swearing - Exact opposite of euphemism. Forces listener to think about negative matter. Using the wrong euphemism has a dysphemistic effect.
* Abusive swearing - for abuse or intimidation or insulting of others
* Idiomatic swearing - swearing without really referring to the matter.. just using the words to arouse interest, to show off, and express to peers that the setting is informal.
* Emphatic swearing - to emphasise something with swearing.
* Cathartic swearing - when something bad happens like coffee spilling, people curse. One evolutionary theory asserts it is meant to tell the audience that you're undergoing a negative emotion.

I think it incumbent upon us to remember we are the ones that give words their power. They are merely words after all. They do not choose us, we choose them. and we choose our reactions to them. That being said I think we need to think and choose wisely when in the presence of young children, old people, and those who do not understand or agree these words are nothing more than ways to describe things in a colorful and expressive manner.....

And that is my thought for the day!

Loving my Space...

Lucky me....

One a clear day I see Mt. Rainier. It is grand. I actually cannot keep my eyes off of it, as it is majestic and stands out like nothing I have ever seen in my life.

When it has been overcast for several days, I forget it is there, and it is like a new gift to see it again.

It reminds me of the Petrarch essay: The Ascent of Mt. Ventoux, which essentially begged the question, why climb mountain? Because it is there.

"How earnestly should we strive, not to stand on mountain-tops, but to trample beneath us those appetites which spring from earthly impulses. With no consciousness of the difficulties of the way, amidst these preoccupations which I have so frankly revealed, we came, long after dark, but with the full moon lending us its friendly light, to the little inn which we had left that morning before dawn."

A metaphor for life

One Day in 1988

Most of us remember exactly where we were and what we were doing when we received shocking or important news. What important event can you remember all the details about, and how did this news affect you?

I could relate a more major event, such as the 911 attacks, or JFK assassination and how, what, when, where and why, but I think I will write about the day my mother died. This is etched deeply in my memory and I remember every vivid detail as though it happened yesterday, not 21 years ago April 30th, 1988.

I awoke that day from a disturbing dream about my brother, father and I riding on an old fashioned funeral wagon. I thought it was disturbing, but expected it to be one of those men instead of my mother who passed later that day.

I got ready to go to my college course to take my final exam. This was my last class and I would graduate finally with my bachelors degree from college. At thirty two, I was "old" and with a nine year old daughter, and a two year old son, a mother who had remarried for the third time. Alex, my two year old was with his dad, and my daughter Katie was home alone until her grandparents would come to pick her up for the day, soon after I left for school.

I was in my class and a young student came to the room asking for me in the midst of my final exam. I went to the hallway and the man told me to call my ex-husband at his house. I thought something had happened to my son, so immediately went to the pay phone in the hallway. My ex-husband indicated he had recieved a call from my daughter who told him her grampie called looking for me. He was at the hospital and needed to talk to me, as my mother had been"admitted". I thanked him, and askedhim to go pick up my daughter, so she would not be alone.

My quarters were inserted into the telephone and I asked to speak to the emergency room. Soon after a nurse answered and put my dad on the phone. The only words out of his mouth were " she's gone Alice". This was incomprehensible to me. Gone? I thought she was admitted to the hospital. Dad said he had to tell my daughter that to get her to call me, and of course, would never tell her she was dead. My dad's voice cracked. I was now worried about him driving back home without my mother at his side. He was unable to speak any longer, and I told him I would meet him at the apartment.

Walking back to the classroom was a surreal experience. I asked my teacher to step into the hallway and told him the news. He told me not to worry about the final, that we would have time to finish it later. I got my things and drove to my parents place. What would we do now? Hoe does one wrap their brain around this? I called my ex and told him I would pick up Katie soon, but my mother was gone, and my dad was my top priority.

Dad walked up the walkway, holding mothers green raincoat and one shoe. The other had been lost in the Doctors office when mom dropped dead from a massive heart attack. Dad was inconsolable. I was in charge. Everyone had to be called, arrangements had to be made, but how could I do all of this when my dear mother lie cold in some hospital freezer awaiting Monday to be transferred over state lines to the funeral home?

Numb. I was numb. Strong and numb. And grasping my dad, I asked him to make certain he would not leave me! This was too much to bear and yet we all must face these times in our lives and there is no warning....except maybe some prophetic dreams we have that seem to be indications something is on its way to our outside world as a warning of things to come!

And those moments are etched in my psyche forever and ever and ever..........

Things change and remain the same

Every day things change, and yet each day they remain the same..because life is a constant flow and there is nothing more flowing than the nature of change. And yet so many resist. And in resisting, people suffer. And suffer needlessly. Attaching to things, people and situations only hurts in the long run. We are conditioned to attach however from birth. We are nurtured by those attachments and when they disappear, we despair. How can we change something so intristically human?

I am reminded of the fact that once we lose something we hold dear the next time we lose something all the feelings of the first loss are also felt. This compounds and compounds and in each subsequent loss we have ALL the losses we have ever had pulling us into our suffering. How horribly accurate!

When I decided the Buddhist teaching made a great deal of sense it took me awhile to work on the non-attachment part. the mindfullness idea is easier than non-attachment. After all, how can one give up attachment to ones family, animals and feelings? There was so much loss in my life at the time I embraced this tenet that it seemed insurmountable to me. And even now, as I reflect on the whole idea of reworking my life, I remember that when things are horrible in ones life, one cannot work too well on ones spirituality. If in survival mode, it is virtually impossible. I lived at that level for several years, and it was like a dragon eating its tail. One needed to move beyond the negative situation, but being positive seemed impossible. All a part of the conundrum of life!

Today is the only day we ever have, so in the words of the great AA chapters: "One day at a time" is the way we all need to view our lives. We spend so much time trying to plan for a future we may not live to see, a vacation that lasts a blink in time, and/or an event that seems to celebrate some milestone, that we forget the fragile life truth...the present is here to bestow its blessings on us. We must remain open and present to its miracle. And in doing so the changes we see as shocking, or even exciting become the unfolded present we already knew would make itself manifest, had we but listened to our own intuitive mind....things change. End of story.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

February 14, 2010

Valentines day may just be another one of those Hallmark holidays people feel compelled to celebrate...but I like it! I like the idea there is at least one day set aside to concentrate on the people you love. With everyone rushing hither and yon, it is important to think about love once in awhile. Sure, it is probably something we need to focus on everyday, but would people do it?Probably not.

I am reminded that there will always be people who will question everything. And questioning things is great, although I am tired of constant skeptics. You know the people.... they always say: well...I don't know about THAT! to every new idea! Naysayers are the ones that make me tired. I am not looking for "yes" men/women...but how about considering a new idea?

So...here is a new idea. How about people keeping their opinions to themselves, unless they have something productive to add? Constantly finding the problem with something gets to be OLD. And finding fault with what people think all the time makes people run.

Today I am ready to love everyone...just for today....I am shooting off love arrows! I'll decide tomorrow if I will continue! LOL